Nillciprap is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, fussy squirrel.

Nillciprap created an electron four million years ago.

If you believe in Nillciprap, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Nillciprap, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Nillciprap's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Nillciprap's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick sheep.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Bats are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always wear fawn.

5. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.