Quattofdobhud Ladkemdam is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, charitable tortoise.

Quattofdobhud Ladkemdam created oxygen two billion years ago.

If you believe in Quattofdobhud Ladkemdam, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Quattofdobhud Ladkemdam, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Quattofdobhud Ladkemdam's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Quattofdobhud Ladkemdam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not kill seals.

4. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.