Ortladflis is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, two-faced duck.

Ortladflis created the Large Magellanic Cloud five billion years ago.

If you believe in Ortladflis, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ortladflis, she will torture you forever.

Ortladflis' most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Ortladflis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear platinum on your body.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

5. Never eat green fruit.