Gofpasraw is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, quiet swallow.

Gofpasraw created a photon two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gofpasraw, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gofpasraw, she will turn you into a goat.

Gofpasraw's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Gofpasraw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt goats.

2. Run away from magenta cats, for they are unholy.

3. Feed all hungry ducks.

4. Never feed carrots to seals while wearing mauve ear rings.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.