Ciptipflam is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, uncaring dog.

Ciptipflam created a charm quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ciptipflam, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ciptipflam, he will boil you in a big pot.

Ciptipflam's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Ciptipflam's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never go into pink rooms.

4. Always treat moths with great respect.

5. Do not drink alcohol.