Gunflatsid Bomcimstik is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, pitiless naga.

Gunflatsid Bomcimstik created bats eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gunflatsid Bomcimstik, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gunflatsid Bomcimstik, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Gunflatsid Bomcimstik's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Gunflatsid Bomcimstik's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never think about asteroids.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.