Handapgebqueegveen is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, generous lizard.

Handapgebqueegveen created a photon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Handapgebqueegveen, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Handapgebqueegveen, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Handapgebqueegveen's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Handapgebqueegveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about stars.

2. Erect four tin sculptures of Handapgebqueegveen on top of important buildings.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not wear mauve clothing.

5. Fast once a month.