Guddongat is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, merciful squid.

Guddongat created silver three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Guddongat, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Guddongat, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Guddongat's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Guddongat's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs white.

2. Never sit in the presence of sharks.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. You must love Guddongat.