Futgepbast Sashogbell Listnatstan is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, compassionate spider.

Futgepbast Sashogbell Listnatstan created Africa seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Futgepbast Sashogbell Listnatstan, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Futgepbast Sashogbell Listnatstan, it will turn you into a rock.

Futgepbast Sashogbell Listnatstan's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Futgepbast Sashogbell Listnatstan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not kill mites.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about fire.