Mabhognak is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, stupid octopus.

Mabhognak created viruses five million years ago.

If you believe in Mabhognak, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Mabhognak, he will turn you into a frog.

Mabhognak's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Mabhognak's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never wear ear rings.

5. Never hurt monkeys.