Sawtomjon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, unthoughtful penguin.

Sawtomjon created an atom three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sawtomjon, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Sawtomjon, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Sawtomjon's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Sawtomjon's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Sawtomjon.

2. Never talk about galaxies.

3. Sawtomjon must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not hurt capybaras.

5. Always help turtles in need.