Fumvonkbid is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, fussy faun.

Fumvonkbid created dark matter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumvonkbid, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fumvonkbid, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Fumvonkbid's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Fumvonkbid's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Fumvonkbid.

2. Never sing in the presence of monkeys.

3. Always make sure there are no birds in a building before entering it.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Mites are not to be trusted.