Zimjoptar is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, emotional warg.

Zimjoptar created matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Zimjoptar, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Zimjoptar, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Zimjoptar's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Zimjoptar's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate voles.

2. Never feed melons to sheep while wearing green jumpers.

3. Never talk about planets.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Erect three titanium sculptures of Zimjoptar on top of important buildings.