Montonkten is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, boastful horse.

Montonkten created Africa two million years ago.

If you believe in Montonkten, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Montonkten, she will turn you into a goat.

Montonkten's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Montonkten's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured whales.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not eat tomatoes.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Never think about amino acids.