Gupyartdamsaw is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, unselfish alligator.

Gupyartdamsaw created gold nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gupyartdamsaw, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gupyartdamsaw, he will turn you into a goat.

Gupyartdamsaw's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Gupyartdamsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Erect four iron sculptures of Gupyartdamsaw on top of important buildings.

2. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

3. Never feed strawberries to capybaras while wearing yellow kilts.

4. Gupyartdamsaw loves tortoises, so they must be respected.

5. Do not hurt foxes.