Stragquatsinmobpangcetnartciss is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, stupid elephant.

Stragquatsinmobpangcetnartciss created a charm quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stragquatsinmobpangcetnartciss, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Stragquatsinmobpangcetnartciss, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Stragquatsinmobpangcetnartciss' most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Stragquatsinmobpangcetnartciss' Holy Commandments

1. Always treat cats with great respect.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

4. Worship no other gods but Stragquatsinmobpangcetnartciss.

5. Do not wear black clothing.