Lagdabdag Sittalmat is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, witless crocodile.

Lagdabdag Sittalmat created the Tadpole Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lagdabdag Sittalmat, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Lagdabdag Sittalmat, it will not invite you to parties.

Lagdabdag Sittalmat's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Lagdabdag Sittalmat's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate voles.