Homlanlinbudyargessnab Tifkembap is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, charitable zebra.

Homlanlinbudyargessnab Tifkembap created the planet Saturn nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Homlanlinbudyargessnab Tifkembap, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Homlanlinbudyargessnab Tifkembap, he will curse you with boils.

Homlanlinbudyargessnab Tifkembap's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Homlanlinbudyargessnab Tifkembap's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

4. Always look after injured porpoises.

5. Never write about nebulae.