Tinhunyardot is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, self-assured troll.

Tinhunyardot created carbon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tinhunyardot, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Tinhunyardot, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Tinhunyardot's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Tinhunyardot's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear gray.

2. Tinhunyardot must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not wear red clothing.

4. Never paint your chest pink.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.