Govquaggidpadfagdin is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, effective penguin.

Govquaggidpadfagdin created the planet Mars three million years ago.

If you believe in Govquaggidpadfagdin, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Govquaggidpadfagdin, she will turn you into a hamster.

Govquaggidpadfagdin's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Govquaggidpadfagdin's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured pigs.

2. Never talk about tortoises.

3. Always make sure there are no shrews in a room before entering it.

4. Do not speak about coconuts.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.