Dusszengenhas Vanbinfid is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, slow swallow.

Dusszengenhas Vanbinfid created an up quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dusszengenhas Vanbinfid, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dusszengenhas Vanbinfid, he will turn you into a goat.

Dusszengenhas Vanbinfid's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Dusszengenhas Vanbinfid's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick dolphins.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Feed all hungry horses.

4. Never feed corn to seals while wearing red skirts.

5. Do not hurt geese.