Tomnuttkik is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, smart ant.

Tomnuttkik created the cosmos five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tomnuttkik, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tomnuttkik, he will ignore you.

Tomnuttkik's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Tomnuttkik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not eat lemons.

4. Never eat limes.

5. Never run in holy places.