Dodtoffeb is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, unselfish aardvark.

Dodtoffeb created light six million years ago.

If you believe in Dodtoffeb, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dodtoffeb, it will destroy your favourite star.

Dodtoffeb's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Dodtoffeb's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Feed all hungry sharks.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.