Titloopcamladbidstikligcan is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, unsympathetic raccoon.

Titloopcamladbidstikligcan created dark matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Titloopcamladbidstikligcan, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Titloopcamladbidstikligcan, it will turn you into a slug.

Titloopcamladbidstikligcan's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Titloopcamladbidstikligcan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Hide from orange cats for they are unholy.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Erect a large tin sculpture of Titloopcamladbidstikligcan on top of all buildings.

5. Always look after injured doves.