Flapnutbop is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, emotional seal.

Flapnutbop created carbon two years ago.

If you believe in Flapnutbop, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Flapnutbop, she will turn you into a worm.

Flapnutbop's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Flapnutbop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never mention foxes.

3. You must love Flapnutbop.

4. Do not speak about bananas.

5. Do not trade with those who eat wheat.