Arnbodbabgigxucban is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, selfish dragonfly.

Arnbodbabgigxucban created Africa two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arnbodbabgigxucban, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Arnbodbabgigxucban, he will turn you into a puffin.

Arnbodbabgigxucban's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Arnbodbabgigxucban's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.

3. Run away from violet sheep, for they are unholy.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

5. Do not dye your hair mauve.