Gupwannil is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, egotistical camel.

Gupwannil created the universe two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gupwannil, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gupwannil, he will come to you in dreams.

Gupwannil's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Gupwannil's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Gupwannil on top of all buildings.

3. Voles are not to be trusted.

4. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a room before entering it.

5. Never talk about planets.