Affebsigpibwitdab Stragbenaf is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, prudent bat.

Affebsigpibwitdab Stragbenaf created a Higgs boson two years ago.

If you believe in Affebsigpibwitdab Stragbenaf, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Affebsigpibwitdab Stragbenaf, she will torture you forever.

Affebsigpibwitdab Stragbenaf's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Affebsigpibwitdab Stragbenaf's Holy Commandments

1. Affebsigpibwitdab Stragbenaf loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Do not speak about cucumbers.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Erect a large iron sculpture of Affebsigpibwitdab Stragbenaf on top of all buildings.