Tifvagcib is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, emotional chinchilla.

Tifvagcib created dark energy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tifvagcib, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tifvagcib, she will make you grow a tail.

Tifvagcib's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Tifvagcib's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Erect seven silicon sculptures of Tifvagcib on top of important buildings.

3. Put Tifvagcib first in all things.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.