Vonlarpmip is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, grumpy finch.

Vonlarpmip created the planet Mars nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonlarpmip, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vonlarpmip, she will turn you into a rat.

Vonlarpmip's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Vonlarpmip's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large iron sculpture of Vonlarpmip on top of all buildings.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Hide if nine mice approach from the north.

5. Always take life seriously.