Legflabjam is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, slow chicken.

Legflabjam created a Higgs boson six billion years ago.

If you believe in Legflabjam, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Legflabjam, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Legflabjam's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Legflabjam's Holy Commandments

1. Legflabjam must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never paint your head indigo.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.