Tinlagcut is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, prudent faun.

Tinlagcut created tapeworms seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tinlagcut, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tinlagcut, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Tinlagcut's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Tinlagcut's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear ear rings.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate manatees.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Always help birds in need.