Loopfublam is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, conceited gerbil.

Loopfublam created an electron nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopfublam, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Loopfublam, she will destroy your favourite star.

Loopfublam's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Loopfublam's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always help sick porpoises.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Loopfublam.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never eat beans.