Tapdissleglun is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, weak cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Tapdissleglun created a strange quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tapdissleglun, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tapdissleglun, he will turn you into a mouse.

Tapdissleglun's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Tapdissleglun's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight tortoises approach from the south.

2. Never talk about manatees.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never pour water over plants.