Nurlbeplooptam is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, self-assured slug.

Nurlbeplooptam created a charm quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlbeplooptam, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Nurlbeplooptam, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Nurlbeplooptam's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Nurlbeplooptam's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always help sick tapirs.

3. You must love Nurlbeplooptam.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.