Kipflankam is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, overgenerous yak.

Kipflankam created water two million years ago.

If you believe in Kipflankam, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kipflankam, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Kipflankam's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Kipflankam's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Kipflankam.

2. Do not wear titanium on your body.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never wear red stockings.

5. Always pray immersed in water.