Cubcibjad is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, witless snail.

Cubcibjad created the planet Jupiter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cubcibjad, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cubcibjad, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Cubcibjad's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Cubcibjad's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Retreat if seven otters approach from the west.

5. Do not shave your arms.