Gutzenciss is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, loving seal.

Gutzenciss created silver seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutzenciss, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gutzenciss, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gutzenciss' most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Gutzenciss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never think about planets.

3. Do not wear cyan clothing.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gutzenciss.