Pascinlendisstafjenont is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, witless giraffe.

Pascinlendisstafjenont created the planet Jupiter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Pascinlendisstafjenont, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Pascinlendisstafjenont, it will throw large rocks at you.

Pascinlendisstafjenont's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Pascinlendisstafjenont's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nebulae.

2. Never think about cell theory.

3. Do not kill doves.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate dolphins.

5. Turtles are not to be trusted.