Jigwatsawmiskopgatwatlat is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, all-knowing gnu.

Jigwatsawmiskopgatwatlat created energy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jigwatsawmiskopgatwatlat, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jigwatsawmiskopgatwatlat, he will jump up and down on your head.

Jigwatsawmiskopgatwatlat's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Jigwatsawmiskopgatwatlat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never think about comets.

3. Always treat snakes with great respect.

4. Never bounce in the presence of ducks.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jigwatsawmiskopgatwatlat.