Futkiknurl Xemdot Lagfossfeb is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, witless hedgehog.

Futkiknurl Xemdot Lagfossfeb created the planet Earth nine million years ago.

If you believe in Futkiknurl Xemdot Lagfossfeb, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Futkiknurl Xemdot Lagfossfeb, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Futkiknurl Xemdot Lagfossfeb's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Futkiknurl Xemdot Lagfossfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never feed limes to voles while wearing yellow stockings.

3. Always help bats in need.

4. Hide if seven dogs approach from the north.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Futkiknurl Xemdot Lagfossfeb.