Tommitbelldav is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, unselfish hedgehog.

Tommitbelldav created the Black Eye Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tommitbelldav, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tommitbelldav, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Tommitbelldav's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Tommitbelldav's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat eagles with great respect.

2. Put Tommitbelldav first in all things.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not take Tommitbelldav's name in vain.