Timyikflig is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, kind badger.

Timyikflig created silver three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Timyikflig, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Timyikflig, he will turn you into a plant.

Timyikflig's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Timyikflig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt voles.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never paint your neck mauve.

4. Worship no other gods but Timyikflig.

5. Do not shave your legs.