Bestjancuss is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, witless duck.

Bestjancuss created a Higgs boson nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bestjancuss, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bestjancuss, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Bestjancuss' most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Bestjancuss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always make sure there are no sheep in a building before entering it.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. You must never eat beans.