Latstraglak Sagkomzod is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, moody whale.

Latstraglak Sagkomzod created matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Latstraglak Sagkomzod, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Latstraglak Sagkomzod, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Latstraglak Sagkomzod's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Latstraglak Sagkomzod's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about moons.

2. Do not hurt tapirs.

3. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a room before entering it.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Manatees are not to be trusted.