Bitnuljad is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, sage porpoise.

Bitnuljad created the Virgo Supercluster seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitnuljad, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Bitnuljad, she will turn you into a snail.

Bitnuljad's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Bitnuljad's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of dogs.

2. Never go into brown rooms.

3. Always wear green.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.