Fatmifkenyarpcumkin Voglibbot is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, calm elephant.

Fatmifkenyarpcumkin Voglibbot created the Small Magellanic Cloud five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fatmifkenyarpcumkin Voglibbot, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fatmifkenyarpcumkin Voglibbot, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Fatmifkenyarpcumkin Voglibbot's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Fatmifkenyarpcumkin Voglibbot's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat melons.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Fatmifkenyarpcumkin Voglibbot.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.

5. Do not cook food in pots.