Gumwadaf is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, resourceful penguin.

Gumwadaf created snails two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gumwadaf, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gumwadaf, she will ignore you.

Gumwadaf's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Gumwadaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of capybaras.

2. Never paint your neck fawn.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Run away if five hamsters approach from the east.