Nutveensog is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, annoying hamster.

Nutveensog created snails three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nutveensog, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nutveensog, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Nutveensog's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Nutveensog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.

3. Never sing in the presence of doves.

4. Nutveensog loves dogs, so they must be honoured.

5. Pray towards the north.