Daptabtun Farvonhabbaptofcipbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, narcissistic meerkat.

Daptabtun Farvonhabbaptofcipbonk created an electron eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Daptabtun Farvonhabbaptofcipbonk, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Daptabtun Farvonhabbaptofcipbonk, she will turn you into a rock.

Daptabtun Farvonhabbaptofcipbonk's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Daptabtun Farvonhabbaptofcipbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never hurt snakes.

4. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not eat parsnips.